Nolita NN3 – Joy in Ways of Being
Nolita Becker found her Natural Number in her quest to grow as a person; she believed in the importance of working on herself, and adding to her understanding. After she and a few friends heard about Body of 9, they decided to attend a session as a group and learn more. As Susan and Martin explained the context and their study, she began to see everyone in the room in a different light, noting the variations in their physicality and their personalities. As they began to work with people one by one, the differences became even more distinct and profound. “When I saw them be identified, and heard the descriptions for each of their Natural Numbers, it just made sense for what I knew of them,” Nolita remembers.
Susan identified Nolita as a Natural Number 3, a physiology that radiates joy, focus, and attention to detail. They connect deeply with others and inspire them to action; sustained eye contact is also an important element of the relationships they create. The descriptions immediately resonated, explaining aspects of Nolita’s personality and way of being that she hadn’t completely understood. It was exciting to be seen so clearly. Nolita decided to continue working with Body of 9, learning more about herself, about others, and how each of the Natural Numbers adds their different strengths to a community. This context has aided her personal growth, and improved her relationships.
“I’ve gotten a lot of feedback in my life that I’m too much, or too intense; my Natural Number has helped to reframe that,” Nolita explains. “When it shifted inside, I felt more peaceful; more accepting.” She found validation in knowing that her natural way of being was a strength, not something wrong to be hidden and ignored. Staying connected to her “3ness” brings out her best self, and helps her withstand moments of stress or strife; she sometimes reminds herself of this by touching the notch on her clavicle, an NN3’s center of movement and action, to sooth anxiety and tap into her resilience.
At the same time, she now has the awareness that many of the other Natural Numbers can struggle to maintain her level of intensity, and can respect these differences by consciously modulating her power it instead of “shutting it down.” Diving deeper into the work has afforded Nolita the opportunity to connect with the other Natural Numbers on a personal level as well. “Working with 5 for the first time felt mind blowing; I could hold it for a little bit, and I could feel how different it would be to move through the world from that place. This has been true for each one; it gives a different perspective.” She has developed a deep appreciation for this component of the Body of 9, which teaches that each person’s experiences, values, and perceptions are important to the whole, even if we sometimes struggle to understand one another. “It allows us to see those differences as strengths, and see the strengths in those differences,” Nolita says.
This has made a particularly profound impact on her family relationships. In its research, Body of 9 has noted a peculiar pattern; the members of a nuclear family will not share any Natural Numbers until a couple has more than seven children, making repetitions unavoidable. Why this occurs is still a matter of speculation; practically speaking, however, this phenomenon can make it hard for family members to support one another if their differences are not understood and honored.
With this framework in mind, Nolita feels that Body of 9 has helped her become a better parent. Knowing her children’s Natural Numbers allows her insight into what might be important to them, and empowers her to use specific language that will resonate for each. As they continue to grow and explore their identities, she enjoys talking to them about their discoveries, and asking questions that elicit and illuminate their strengths. “They feel the support, and they feel my excitement, and they get excited about it!”
Her older daughter is a Natural Number 5, and Nolita has noticed again and again her ability to hear and pick up on what is happening around her. She also remembers a particular moment where they were walking along a rocky lakeside, and her daughter was struggling to keep her balance. Nolita reminded her to use the top of her head—her region of power—to steady herself. As she connected upward through her Natural Number, she became much more surefooted for the rest of the walk.
Nolita’s younger daughter is a Natural Number 7, a physiology that delves into possibilities, wherever they exist. Combined with her youth, Nolita can find herself barraged by the questions, “what about…?” and “what if…?” Though this can be frustrating, she knows that she has to support her daughter’s curiosity; it’s her way of being, and a power that she will bring to her own community as she grows up.
Nolita is also aware and respectful of the things her daughters do not need—specifically, as her kids are Natural Numbers 5 and 7, she knows that they will not value eye contact as much as she does. When they don’t meet her eyes, it’s not a matter of disrespect, and demanding eye contact from them constantly could be distracting and uncomfortable for the children. Fortunately, the knowledge is a two-way street, and her children are aware that sometimes their Natural Number 3 mother needs to see their eyes as they talk; she’s found that her younger daughter, in particular, is willing to participate, playfully saying “let me see your eye contact!” from time to time. In details like these, the family is able to create a balance, supporting each other as necessary.
Similar lessons have carried over into Nolita’s practice as a therapist. In addition to her measured use of eye contact, she has learned to spot and mirror movements that could relate to a client’s Natural Number, even if they haven’t been formally identified; this can sometimes help establish a better connection, or lead her to more valuable, supportive, questions. She’s also called on the strengths of specific Natural Numbers to help people feel comfortable—Natural Number 1, for instance, helps people experience healing vulnerability, and bringing it into a space can ease struggles during therapy.
Though Nolita was already a student of soul-searching and personal growth before finding Body of 9, she believes the system is valuable to veterans and beginners alike. “It’s a fun way of looking at yourself and other people. There’s a lot of depth to it; emotional, mental, internal, and also the physical,” she attests. “The more that I’ve learned about the other Numbers, the more I’ve learned about myself. We have each in us, and by exploring each of them in ourselves, it makes us more whole and more balanced.
“During times of stress, Body of 9 can be a fun exploration of yourself and other people; I really believe that it can bring some joy.”
On a quest to grow as a person like Nolita? Download the free ‘Four Practices for Presence’ worksheet here, and begin exploring the impact you can have on the world.